Kitty Pryde Verses Home Economics
by Red Witch
Summary: If Kitty doesn't pass Home Ec, she has to stay back another year. If she does pass, the Xavier Institute will end up with lawsuits. Talk about a no win situation!


**The disclaimer telling all of you that I don't own any X-Men Evolution characters has been frozen and sold as ice cream. Just another fun mad fic in my own ideas of what regular Evo continuity would be like. **

**Kitty Pryde Verses Home Economics**

"I swear I can't **wait** until I graduate Bayville Hell and never have to do another stupid paper again!" Rogue threw down her books on the kitchen table.

"That bad?" Ororo sighed. She and Hank were in the kitchen while some of the students came in to have a snack.

"What do **you** think?" Amara asked. "Everyone at school knows we're mutants and watches those stupid shows the Brotherhood puts on. On top of it all most of the teachers are jerks. I need a cookie."

"Amara, don't," Rogue warned her. "Kitty made those."

"Whoa thanks Rogue," Amara let out a breath. "Dodged a bullet there."

"Is it me or has Kitty been baking a lot lately?" Hank asked.

"It's not you," Rogue said. "And is it a **coincidence** that the Professor high tailed it to Washington DC for some kind of mutant conference we've never heard of when he broke a tooth on her last batch of brownies? I don't think so."

"Aahh! I hate school! I hate it!" Kitty fumed as she stormed into the kitchen. She handed Ororo a piece of paper. "Storm I need you to sign this for me."

"This is a notice that you're failing in your grades!" Ororo was stunned.

"Kitty what's wrong?" Hank was alarmed. "You're one of the brightest students I've ever taught. How could you be failing?"

"I'm only failing one class and it's obvious that the teachers hate me because I'm a mutant!" Kitty fumed. "It's a plot against me to keep my grades down! I know it!"

"What class are you failing?" Hank asked.

"Home Economics," Kitty fumed. "Like so I burned a few dozen cookies and sent a few subs to the nurse with stomach cramps! And I'm sure they got that violent diarrhea on their own!"

"Wanna bet?" Bobby groaned as he staggered into the room. "Oh man not again!" He ran back out to the nearest bathroom.

"I see…" Hank sighed.

"I know! It's like total discrimination against mutants!" Kitty fumed. "We should sue them or something!"

"Uh Kitty," Rogue let out a breath. "As much as I'd normally agree with you on the education system of this country conspiring to keep mutants down…I have to admit this time they might have a point. They're just trying to keep the level of food poisoning in this state down a notch."

"My cooking is not that bad!" Kitty snapped.

"Compared to **what?** Cancer? Toxic waste?" Rogue asked. "Kitty, even the Blob won't eat your cookies. And he's not exactly known for being a finicky eater."

"Yeah the last time you sent cookies over to the Brotherhood house Pyro used them for target practice," Amara told her. "And they didn't even burn which was the scary part."

"Okay maybe I made a few little mistakes but I have to keep practicing or else I'll fail the class and I never failed a class before! Not even gym class!" Kitty said. "If I fail this class I won't be able to pass to the next grade!"

"So that's why you've been baking non stop for the past two weeks?" Hank guessed. "And why everyone in this mansion has been having those bizarre nightmares."

"Kitty if you are really having trouble with this class perhaps you should talk to your teacher?" Ororo suggested.

"I **tried **that but when I did she screamed made a sign of the cross and called me the devil," Kitty gave her a look. "Then she ran out of the class yelling something about Lucriecia Borgia has been reincarnated and is in her classroom. That was two days ago and she hasn't come back yet."

"Oh dear…" Hank winced. "That is not a good sign is it?"

"I might as well go down tomorrow and talk with Principal Kelly," Ororo sighed.

"Great that should be fun after he lost the mayor's race," Hank rolled his eyes. "Wait, didn't he leave his position so he could run for office?"

"Yeah and he told us all win or lose he was **never** coming back," Rogue said. "We got a new principal but he's just a big a jerk as Kelly was."

"Oh come on I'm sure we can reason with this Principal," Ororo said. "How bad could he be?"

* * *

"Thanks for willing to speak with us today Principal Cameron Hodge," Ororo greeted the new principal of Bayville High. She was with Logan and immediately they sensed that this principal was just as hostile as the old one towards mutants.

"It's not as if I had a choice," Principal Hodge said stiffly. He was a thin blond haired man with glasses. "You mutants have been causing nothing but trouble since day one!"

"Principal Hodge I hardly think…" Ororo tried to say something.

"Ms. Munroe I have only been acting principal of Bayville High for three weeks and in those three weeks I have lost four teachers, five substitutes and three students whose parents have pulled them out because they didn't want their children being exposed to danger!" Principal Hodge snapped.

"Well Principal…" Ororo began.

"Have you ever had a resignation letter sent to you in **lamb's blood?** I've got two of them!" Principal Hodge yelled.

"Look why don't we just cut to the chase here," Logan interrupted. "Kitty Pryde is having trouble passing Home Ec."

"Yes apparently one of her mutant abilities is to wreck any kind of food that she touches," Principal Hodge said icily. "I don't see why she shouldn't fail and stay back another year!"

"I do," Logan folded his arms. "If she does, she'll have to take Home Economics **all over again**. Do you really want **that** to happen?"

"Hmm…You have a point," Principal Hodge frowned. "Three of the substitutes that left were in her Home Ec class and they all claimed to have severe poisoning and violent diarrhea. And God knows I don't want you freaks in here any longer than possible. All right here's what I am prepared to do. In order to pass Home Economics Kitty Pryde will have to work in the cafeteria during mealtimes for the rest of the school year. That's my offer and I suggest you take it."

"Kitty's gonna **love** that," Logan rolled his eyes. He gave Ororo a look which clearly said: _Why do all Bayville High principals have to be such jerks? _

"If that girl wants to pass and graduate to the next grade she will," Hodge snorted. "She starts Wednesday! That's all. Now if you'll excuse me I have work to do. Like finding more teachers that will actually teach at this cursed school!"

"Remind me to tell the students to bring a bag lunch that day," Logan whispered to Ororo as they left the room.

"Logan please," Ororo gave him a look. "All Kitty is going to be doing is helping to serve and prepare the foods. How bad could it get?"

* * *

"This is Diane Chenovski for Channel Nine News," An anchorwoman spoke. "Today the Health Department shut down Bayville High School after an outbreak of food poisoning in the cafeteria. The source of the food poisoning is rumored to be tied to the mutant students that go here. But there is no evidence that confirms that."

"Oh Godess…" Ororo flinched as the X-Men watched the television.

"I believe your **exact** words Ororo were 'How bad could it get'?" Logan gave her a look. "This looks pretty bad to me!"

"Daniel Winston has the story at Bayville. Winston?" Diane Chennovski said.

"Bayville High erupted into a mass breakout of vomit and violent diarrhea today," A distinguished looking man spoke into the camera at Bayville High. Shots of ambulances and people vomiting were seen. "Shortly after the first lunch period, dozens of students, teachers and cafeteria workers became violently ill. Apparently some of the food was improperly handled or undercooked. Or had some very odd ingredients such as pickle relish and coffee in the potato salad. Not to mention that the mayonnaise used in the salad was expired. And you don't want to **know** what was in the fried chicken patties!"

"Thanks again for the heads up Logan," Rogue said. "From now on I will **always** bring my own lunch!"

"Yeah it's a lot healthier to make your own," Kurt agreed.

"I am so going to fail Home Ec," Kitty groaned.

"There is also some severe smoke damage inside the cafeteria and in the Home Economics classroom," Winston said. "Officials estimate that the school will be closed for the rest of the week and possibly next week as well."

"Well it's official," Jean sighed. "The X-Men have now **tied** with the Brotherhood in estimated damages we've done to Bayville High."

"No, the Brotherhood never officially **poisoned** anyone," Rogue gave Kitty a glare. "Okay that one time Toad put some slime in Jean's soup when she wasn't looking. But no one noticed…"

"When was this?" Jean did a double take.

"Oh it was a long time ago," Rogue waved. "I was still with the Brotherhood then so I didn't say anything."

"So you decided to say it **now?"** Jean yelled.

"Jean, focus!" Kurt said. "At least with Toad's slime you have a **chance** of survival!"

"You have a point," Jean said.

"I'M STILL IN THE ROOM YOU KNOW?" Kitty yelled.

"Let's see if we can get a word with Principal Cameron Hodge," The reporter went up to an ambulance where Hodge was being wheeled into. "Principal Hodge! Can I have a statement please?"

"HERE'S PRINCIPAL CAMERON HODGE WITH AN EXCLUSIVE! **I** **QUIT!**" He screamed into the microphone. "I QUIT! LET SOMEONE ELSE DEAL WITH THESE TEENAGE MUTANT FREAKS! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! AAAAHH! SOMEONE PLEASE PULL MY STOMACH OUT OF ME AND **KILL** ME ALREADY!"

"Kitty it goes without saying you are banned from cooking in the kitchen for **life!"** Scott gave her a look.

"You heard the reporter, there's no proof I had anything to do with it!" Kitty snapped.

"That's because all the evidence is either burned or flushed down the toilet!" Rogue snapped.

"BLEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!"

"Or thrown up on that one news guy's pants," Rogue sighed.

"Let me guess, Chuck's not coming back for a while?" Logan asked.

"Yes," Ororo sighed.

"Seeing the lawyers?" Logan asked.

"Yes," Ororo sighed. "And you are not going to let me forget that I was wrong are you?"

"Oh yeah," Logan nodded. "Definitely."

"So are we all expelled or is it just Kitty or what?" Bobby asked.

"No one is getting expelled," Ororo said.

"Are you sure of that?" Logan gave her a look.

"That's what the lawyers are for," Hank sighed. "But uh Kitty, you might have to change your class from Home Ec to something else."

"Well there is a driver's Ed class I wanted to take," Kitty brightened.

"We are not going to make it to graduation, I know it," Rogue moaned.


End file.
